All About ME

The other day I came into a social setting with myself and a couple other people who don’t know me very well, but know a little bit about my, uh, ‘situation’ (thanks, honey!), who sat across from me and said something along the lines of

“tell us about YOU.”

…….uuuuuuhhhhhhh………

What do you want to know??

I HATE that. Don’t you hate that? I don’t hate that they ‘asked’ (it’s not really a question, is it? More like an order; tell me NOW; tell me ALL YOUR SECRETS!!!) I just….hate the query. ¬†I guess it’s just, so…. VAGUE.

Honestly, what would you like to know?

I’m loud. I’m overbearing and obnoxious. It doesn’t take too long for people to discern that, usually, though it takes some of them quite some time to figure out that the horribly blunt/crass/should-be-filtered-but-aren’t things that come spewing forth from my mouth aren’t usually meant to be negative. Honestly, there are probably a whole SLEW of people out there who just think I’m TERRIBLE because I regularly call my husband an idiot. Which HE knows means I love him. But yeah, I can take up a lot of space in a room, and not always physically. ūüėČ

And sometimes people ask you to tell them about yourselves because they’re looking for your deep dark secrets, and others it’s because they want to know about your adoration for sunsets on sandy beaches with loooooooong walks hand-in-hand with your sweetheart. Or that, you know, you’re engaging in such (horrifically boring and cliche) activity in SEARCH of your sweetheart… (back off, girls – this one’s mine!!)

Sigh. And I never know WHICH set of ME information a person is looking for.

Do you want to know about my depression and how horrible and debilitating a disease it can be and my thoughts about the (incredible moronic) people who claim that it’s solely caused by choice and a lack of faith in [Christ] (here’s looking at you, Matt Walsh, you ignoramus)?

Depression-depression-33252772-500-442

Do you want to know about my passion for Muay Thai kickboxing and how wickedly I can snap around a rear-roundhouse kick, or how I have trouble keeping my fists up before throwing a lead hook? And my dream to one day have Kru (basically black belt) in front of my name?

Do you want to know about my passion for reading and endless devotion to fantastical children’s fantasy such as none other than my BFF J.K. creates? Or our family’s one agreed upon ‘religion,’ Batman? Or our little band of Whovians and our trip to FanExpo in Toronto to meet Matt Smith and Arthur Darvill? (Best. Day. EVER.)

10615323_10154585632800523_8321023533099716766_nMaybe you want to know that when I was a kid I danced. And I was good. And I LOVED it. But I was stupid and I quit when I graduated elementary school to go into high school because I was convinced that high school was going to be hard and I wouldn’t have time to dance anymore. ¬†So now…I can keep rhythm, but I dance like any overweight mother-of-two, with the white-man overbite and the ever-so-classic grocery cart move.

Do you want to know how much I hate sleeping with my feet covered? I love onesie pyjamas but they can’t be footies. Or I bet you’d be fascinated to know that I’m REALLY good at my job, which is basically touching naked people all day and making them feel good. O_o (I’m a massage therapist, you FILTHY people. My GOSH.)

Hey! I know! I have a bum left shoulder, but no one can figure out why. Maybe my depression leaped from my brain into my shoulder just to screw with me.

I know! I have a hard time with new, and a SERIOUSLY hard time with follow-through. I have ¬†been in about a thousand different MLM companies. I’m too lazy to make anything work, though. (Pretty hopeful about this latest one, though – it’s a HOOT!) But in the meantime I’ll work my ‘real’ job and make money that way. Because I am an evil working mother who doesn’t love her kids enough to stay home with them.

Riiiiiiiiight.

I love sports. I love playing sports. Watching them makes me antsy because I hate sitting on my butt watching other people have fun. Yes, I find physical exertion to exhaustion fun. My dad thinks I’m psychotic. (My psychiatrist, too! hahaha If you’re crazy and you know it shake your meds!)

What do you tell people when they ask about you? Seriously, I want to know! I NEVER know what to say, or where to start, or what people REALLY want to know about me. ¬†When you say to someone “tell me about yourself,” WHAT are you expecting to hear??

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Out of line?

Yesterday we asked some more of you guys Рwho are you, and why are you here?  I was NOT prepared for the amazing response we got in the comments.

First off, I’m SO sorry that life sucks sometimes. ¬†It just does. No matter who you are, what you believe, what you DON’T believe, or whether your problems are first, or third-world trials, life SUCKS. ¬†It’s just hard. ¬†(My world view leaves me pretty okay with that, but that’s a whole different blog post for a different day!)

I’m sorry that in this sucky life some of you are experiencing the same situation we are here because I’m living this one so I KNOW it’s hard. ¬†Suddenly finding yourself at a religious/spiritual/historical impasse with your committed life-mate and all the incredible repercussions that entails is HARDLY the worst thing in the world, but I promise you it’s not easy. Not by a long shot.

So when we hear directly from you that you’re in the same situation, my heart just aches for you. ¬†I don’t know why we have THIS to go through, but we do.

We were asked by an ex-mormon reader if we think it’s out of line for him to wish to share the, um, let’s go with “more historically accurate” version of the Church’s beginnings and early days than the “whitewashed version…[taught] in seminary” with his teenage children. ¬†Currently that practice is prohibited by his Mormon wife, I understand? Please forgive me if I am misrepresenting the situation – I’m watching “Star Trek: TNG” with one eye hahaha (it’s leaving Netflix Dec 1st and we are NOT DONE YET! NOOOOOO!!!!)

Here’s my two cents based solely on the information you shared in your comment: NO YOU ARE NOT OUT OF LINE.

My gosh.

Please, remember, we’ve been married for ten years, and our children are 6 years and 9 months, so we’re in a TOTALLY different place in life than someone married for 18 with two teenagers. ¬†Except the split-religion thing. ¬†But 18 years behind you? You guys are doing SOMETHING amazingly right; keep it up!! YAY!

Here’s what I’ve come to learn and understand to a whole different level in the past year dealing with my hub’s disaffection: LOVE.

Love isn’t just about wishy-washy romance with candles and jewellery, fattening chocolates and fancy nights out. It’s not just hugs and kisses, cuddles and snuggles. Nor is it just the physical connections of more intimate behaviours, of course.

No, love is so so so much more than all that.

Love is an agreement, a promise between two people to honour, respect, tolerate, support, uplift, accept and stand by one another. ¬†Think about it: think about someone you love. What would you do for that person? What wouldn’t you do? Probably not much. ¬†What could he/she ever do to make you stop loving him/her? YES, people end relationships, end marriages, but REALLY REALLY do you ever stop loving that person? (I know there are crazy circumstances with psychos – you survivors are excused my ignorant suppositions ūüėČ )

So, yeah.  So my husband decides not to be Mormon anymore.

So what?

If I love him, so what? Who cares? ¬†I mean, it’s HUGE, and life-altering, but so what? I love him. I want what’s best for him. I want what’s best for my kids, for me. ¬†I believe whole-heartedly that our family’s affiliation with the LDS Church IS the best for us, but he disagrees. ¬†So, we agree to disagree. He respects me, my decision to remain involved, and I agree to let him disagree. ¬†We are OPEN and HONEST with each other, and especially with our kids.

Now, honestly, the baby…this whole thing is pretty over her head at the moment. ¬†hahaha ¬†And the 6-year-old? Well, she’s six. Kids are amazing, though, they pick up LOTS. So, what is the point in my trying to censor and hide Daddy’s change in faith from her? She’s not stupid; she KNOWS something is up.

In my opinion, the BEST thing I can do, WE can do, as her parents, is be as open and honest with her as we are with each other.

YES, we go to Church. NO, Daddy doesn’t believe in Church. Mommy does, Daddy doesn’t. Mommy believes that warm fuzzy feeling is the Spirit. Daddy believes it’s just the psychological effect of community, safety, of the friendly atmosphere and whatever all other Freudian mumbo-jumbo that makes anyone adhere to one sect or another.

What a tremendous opportunity for learning and growth it will give her, to grow up with access to such wonderful, varying views! Our children will never be faced with the “whitewashed” version of the Church – Daddy won’t let them! ¬†And I’m okay with that. What is this horribly difficult life if not a tremendous opportunity for learning? And WHY, if the nitty-gritty, nasty things about Church history are true, would I want to HIDE those facts from anyone? Does not learning history teach us about ourselves and help prepare us for the future? Would not making the decision to have faith in the Gospel as taught by the LDS Church WITH an advanced knowledge of history, politics, policy…wouldn’t that ENHANCE your testimony? ¬†Or at least allow you the utmost ability to decide one way or the other to leave the Church or stick with it?

So, no, I don’t think it’s out of line at ALL to want to be able to talk to your kids about different views.

BUT, I DO believe it HAS to be done delicately, with respect for the beliefs of your partner and/or the children themselves. ¬†You can’t come out attacking Mormonism any more than you like being attacked for not believing. ¬†And vice versa. ¬†When we feel attacked we get defensive, and when your back is up you’re almost NEVER open to new ideas, just posturing for an increasingly heated conflict.

So…yeah. ¬†That’s what I think. ¬†BUT it’s JUST what I think, so… take it with the grain of salt and all that jazz.

What do the rest of you think?  Is anyone out of line for wanting their religious conversation to be comfortably uncensored within their own families?

Good luck!

Tell us more!

Hey, have you weighed in on our poll yet? 50% of our readers are “ex-mormon” like my mister! Cool! And a bit scary…you must all think I’m completely psycho! hahaha

So, now I have some questions: WHY are you here? What about our story brings you by to our little neck of the internet? Is your story similar to ours/his/mine? Are you just enjoying our plight as a distraction from your own reality? Is what I’m experiencing your worst fear, or what HE is? ¬†Some of you KNOW us, and I think are here out of curiosity, following links on Facebook and/or following our story because you’re acquainted with us, but we know that’s true of all of you, and we’re humbled that anyone would take the time out to check in on us.

More actual blogging forthcoming – still settling into the new routine & schedule in the new place. I know, I know, I suck a little bit. Or a lot, depending on who you ask.

Until next time!

We want to know!

We want to know about you! Who are you? Why are you here reading about our little story? Answer the poll and leave us a comment!