Theory of Mind

Do you learn something new every day?

Sometimes being married to this guy makes me feel like I learn something new every day.

…..he’s obnoxiously bright. Like, read something once and obtain instant expert level knowledge on the subject obnoxiously bright.

(Wait, then, why are we readers stuck hearing from THIS crazy moron all the time??)

(Hey, don’t be so mean! My slightly-more-normal-intelligenced brain is AWESOME!)

When we were teenagers and I kinda’ was 100% totally head-over-heels in love with had a wee teeny tiny little squidge of a crush on him one of the main things I admired was the seemingly endless bits of knowledge  ratting around in his brain that a simpleton like myself was just…wow. All this garbage about constellations one night while laying on the trampoline just hanging out – he wasn’t being a cocky, cliche-romantic turd, just sharing some facts about life he found interesting!

Well, tonight….. hahaha the caverns of knowledge got me again!!

Some of my super-extended-we-never-see family is coming into “town” for the weekend, and I’m pretty pleased, and trying to make arrangements to make sure we bump into each other at some point while they’re here. Because, well, they’re my family! So I’m on the phone with my Mom, chatting and planning and whatever. And it looks like, at the time, WE are going to be freed up from all the fun and frivolity before dinnertime Saturday because the real grown-ups are going out for a fancy real-grown-up dinner or something.

I have this nasty habit of assuming that you know what I’m talking about. You being whomever I’m currently talking to.

Especially if I was JUST talking about it.

Even if the thing I’m talking about to you that I was just talking about…was in a conversation to someone else that you couldn’t overhear because, you know, phones…that whole one-sided conversation thing….

So I hang up.

And my mind starts going.

Gee, if we’re free by Saturday night I can book a couple of work appointments.  Or we can see if his family is free for dinner. Or we can do this, or we can do that, or or or or or or or….   

What comes out?

“We should see if your family is free for dinner.”

………silence……….for a brief moment….

“Usually by the time a person reaches about 2-3 years of age they acquire Theory of Mind wherein they become able to recognize that what is in their mind may be different than what others may actually be experiencing. ….it does take longer to develop in some than others….”

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ohmigoodness, I couldn’t stop laughing.

My brain is infantile. hahahaha I don’t have theory of mind!!

Apparently, all the when-what-who-where-why-how CONTEXT of my let’s-do-dinner was…between my mom and I on the phone and theeennnnn carried on in my brain. Silently. Before mid-conversation comes flying out.

If only this were a one-off occurrence. X-D My poor hubs, though, has figured out how to translate, or as in this case, just flat-out tell me he has noooooooooooo idea where I am in what conversation with whom.  Aaaaaand we laugh, repeatedly, at my inability to recognize that I’ve, once again, started speaking out loud mid-sentence, or “repeating” a question I’ve never actually posed outside of my head, or any number of other idiosyncrasies of my, uh, “ability” at verbal communication.

Thank goodness we laugh about it!  And hey! I learned about theory of mind today! I’d call that a win, no? O:-) Do you have any weird communication non-skillz?

The best holiday ever.

Christmastime is usually a pretty insane time of year for everyone; starting with deadly stampedes in Black Friday mobs running through the entire month of December with ugly sweater parties, work events, extended family get-togethers, in-laws, outlaws ;-), Santa, bankruptcy, and OH yeah, that whole remember-the-reason-for-the-season stuff we Bible-thumpers plaster all over Facebook (is it really offensive for someone with a different religious view to you to wish you a Happy Hanukkah or, heagen-forbid, generic Holiday Season? Really?)

The kids come home from school, the presents are hidden all over the house, the tree is a baby-and-pet magnet, the weather is FRIGHTFUL….

Well, let me tell you what made our Christmas holiday season just, just that WEE bit extra AWESOME this year.

We live in Southern Ontario. In Canada.  Which I know some of you think means we live in igloos year-round, but if you actually look at a map, we’re further south than about half of the United States soooo…. yeah.  So we don’t have weather as easy and balmy as I hear you schmucks out in British Columbia get (I’ve never been there, though, so excuse my naiveté on that one…) but the last few winters have been pretty easy peasy on us. At least where we’ve lived.

So when it actually looked like we might have a white Christmas this year it was a bit odd, and nice, because if there’s ever a day in the year to enjoy snow, December 25th is it!

Then the ice started.

Have you ever experienced freezing rain?  It’s quite something. It coats EVERYTHING, in a way snow can’t, because it’s RAIN; it’s wet, it’s liquid…and it’s ice.  And it was COLD.  Whether you’re on team global-warming-is-real or global-warming-is-a-giant-consipracy-theory you cannot dispute that we’ve had a pretty frigid couple of weeks down here.

(NOT as cold as the rest of you crazy Canucks who actually live in the North, OBVIOUSLY; how do you LIVE there?!)

So the rain, and the ice.  And it’s frozen.  Totally frozen outside.  The trees, the roads, the yards, the cars….. if it’s outside, it’s literally coated in inches of solid ice.

And ice is heavy.

So the trees fall apart. And take down the power lines, and thousands and thousands of people in the Greater Toronto Area and around are without power.

 

Ours went out Saturday, the 21st, at 7:30pm.

It was dark.

It got cold.

Thankfully there’s a gas fireplace and a gas stove here, so we were able to keep relatively warm and still cook our food; much more than some – we know we’re blessed and SO grateful.  My SIL lost her car to a collapsing tree, my MIL couldn’t get out of her home for all the wires down and debris…it was something.

So, fine.  No power.

At Christmas.

No big deal.  A little uber inconvenient, and increasingly cold inside, but we’re good.

This is how you wrap presents at night without power. Yes, I am this cool.

Sunday, Monday, no power.  Huddling near the fire.  Laughing at the predicament, enjoying time with friends, wishing for visibility at nighttime…going to bed at 9:30 hahaha

Tuesday.

Guess what?

The basement is flooded.

SURPRISE!

Apparently the sump-pump runs on, you guessed it, electricity! Which we haven’t had since Saturday night.  So 3 inches of water later we discover the problem.

AWESOME.

My hubs and my uncle get to work and hook up a generator to the sump pump to pump the new indoor pool out of the house. I managed to ‘evacuate’ the kids and get them over to a friends’ house, with heat and power for the day.  The boys worked and worked in the basement.

We managed to get our hands on a generator due to the awesome generosity of friends and keep the sump pump running, hook up the fridge and freezer and salvage food.

But the house was just getting colder and colder.

Sleeping beside the fire to try to keep warm 🙂

Finally the decision was made to leave the house and find a hotel; it was too cold in the house for the kids to stay and sleep!  So the boys took my girls and got everyone packed up and headed off to a hotel while my mom and I stayed behind, tidied up, and prepared for the potential of the next day’s Christmas celebrations, praying all the while that the weather outside would be warm enough that we could come back to the house and celebrate – Christmas is pretty stinking exciting for a 6-year-old. I mean, really.

Mom & I finish stuffing stockings, placing gifts, blowing out candles, securing the generator, and shutting down the house for the night.  And we head out to the car.  Start the car, back out of the driveway.

Start to drive.

“Check tyre pressure” (yes, my parents drive a car that’s so fancy it spells “tire” with a ‘y’).

CATHUNK-THUNK. BUMP. 

Mom: “can you call Dad.”

……yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s a flat tire. On Christmas eve. On our way from evacuating the powerless, heatless house.

Me: “HI, Dad! The car says ‘check tire pressure.'”

Dad: “Don’t worry about it.”

…..so we don’t worry about it. But neither of us are TOTAL idiots, Mom or I, so…. we’re pretty sure we’re driving on a flat tire.  Which is brilliant.

And, honestly, we’re killing ourselves laughing; what are the odds?

Arrive at hotel. Verify flat tyre. Yup, it’s flat!  And now ruined, too! Cool!

Fun, eh?! You can feel EVERY bump in the road when the ‘tyre’ is flat!

Merry Christmas to us, Merry Christmas to us! Merry CHRISTMAS to uuuusssss…. Merry Christmas to us!!

Inside we’re warm, we’re comfy. The girls are both still wide awake at 11pm. But we’re snuggling and laughing and we’re okay – we’re calling it a Christmas to remember, the Christmas from Hell, Christmas by Candles, and whatever else.

Which one of those tyres is a donut? hahaha

Christmas morning.  My hubs checks the house, and all signs look like power has been restored sometime in the night! 4 days without power, and our own Christmas miracle; it’s back on in time for Christmas day, opening presents, and roasting a beautifully stuffed turkey. (Mom makes the BEST. STUFFING. EVER. You might think yours does, but I guarantee you you’re wrong. You’ll get over it.)

So we’re packing up getting ready to go back to the house; Mom & Dad take the kids down to enjoy a nice Christmas continental breakfast while the hubs and I get showered and ready to go.

So I’m in the shower.  Which, I mean, honestly, is a naked activity; I don’t generally wear clothes in the shower.  No, scratch generally…I NEVER wear clothes in the shower.  I find it gets me a bit cleaner to let the water actually get to the skin, you know?

I step out of the shower. Where I admittedly had been for and overly lengthy time (it was so WARM and there was a LIGHT and it was soooo….hot…shower….aaaaahhhhhhh) and the bathroom was PRETTY steamed up.  Like, a LOT of steam.

And the fire alarm starts freaking out.

What?! Crap! How long was I in the shower? How much steam is there in here?!

Until the hubs opens the hotel room door and verifies that the alarms are going all down the hallway.

Wait, what?

There’s a fire?

There’s a fire??

There’s a fire. 

I’M FREAKING NAKED.

We can’t see the fire, so, quite frankly, I’m not running out in the FREEZING cold, dripping wet, and NUDE.  I grab some clothes and dress as quickly as I can, we grab our coats and the girls’ coats, and we race to the stairs, outside, and around to the front of the building to find our kids.

And no one is outside.

????

We go back inside the hotel with the peeling bells of Christmas morning and everyone’s just going about their merry business like nothing’s going on.

Apparently someone burnt the toast and walked away to let the place burn down? Maybe he/she just knew we needed a bit more fun in our dull lives? No idea.

The fire department came, the toast was extinguished, the offending toaster not reused, the hotel company laughing merrily at the Christmas from Hell having a fire-and-brimstone aspect….

And we went home. And had a MARVELLOUS Christmas. It was just perfect.  We cooked, we gifted, we played, we ate… it was probably better a day than if everything had gone perfectly smoothly leading up to it, honestly.

And we thought it was over. I mean, there was still all the fallout – a basement full of ruined stuff to go through, sort, throw away, a hefty tire-replacement bill (Dad said it was the best money he ever spent, just getting us to the hotel! hahaha), attempts to de-ice and de-snow the vehicles…. on the 31st the hubs and I spent over an hour and a half trying to get one of our cars out of the driveway so I could go to work before we finally gave up and called a tow to drag us forward the foot we needed to get some traction – I was 2.5 hours late for work.

Then New Year’s. Nothing much to report thank GOODNESS. I had a rough day being so late for work and it putting me behind schedule so was a little on edge with my family when I finally got home, but apologies and hugs on the 1st and we’re all golden.

So back to work on Friday.

At least that was the intention.

I was driving SO carefully.

Wednesday night it had snowed down near where I work (about an hour drive from where we live), and partway there on the highway it wasn’t totally cleared; the plows had been through, the road wasn’t snow-COVERED, but there was some snow.

And as always happens, I didn’t know my wipers weren’t in tip-top wiping condition after the ice storm until after I’m out on the road and can’t blooming SEE anything.  So I’m driving, and I get behind someone, and I try to clean off the windshield….and it doesn’t work very well.

So I VERY CAREFULLY try to merge over to the passing lane to get away from the nice, thoughtful person driving in front of me spitting crap up all over my car so I can’t see anything.

And I pass, and I move back to the middle, where it’s clearer.

Do be do… driving when it’s hard to see is a bit more adventurous than usual driving, but I manage to actually CLEAR the windshield. Hooray!

Until I end up behind someone else.  Who, gosh darn it, keeps spitting crap from his tires up into was WAS my view!!

So I check. And I signal. And I’m aware of the car to the right of me, and the car in front of me that I’m going to pass.  And I ever-so-slowly begin to merge left to pass the offending vehicle.

And my tires decided they’d had enough.

I fish-tailed.

Fishtailing on the highway going 110km/hr? HOLY CRAP.  I worked with the steering to try to get some sort of control, but it’s just…not going to happen, honestly.  I got it from left, to right, and then right went to completely perpendicular to traffic, which was pretty exciting. And I got the car back to straight…and kept sliding left.  Left, left, left….until I SMASHED into the cement median, TRIED to throw my skull through the driver-side window, and then the car BOUNCED off the median, spun to perpendicular-again, and sailed ACROSS THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC and landed in the ditch.

Somehow I didn’t hit anyone else.

Someone stopped, called 911. Ambulance came, firetruck came (and left – didn’t need them, thank GOODNESS), cop came….

I’m fine. I was in shock. My head hurts. I don’t have a concussion, but I hurt. I feel pretty punk and just out of it.  Shock has worn off.  I’m bloomin’ exhausted ALL THE TIME, but it’ll pass when I’m all recovered.

School starts back tomorrow.  Our kiddo is disappointed, but apart from not seeing her constantly I’m SO looking forward to it, because I honestly can’t take any more of this “vacation” time!

How was your holiday season?? 😉

United front

I have had some people not really understand or agree with my “letting” my mister off the hook on Sunday and take the day off.  And while I understand my reasons and what went on, I think basically, it boils down to Aesop’s oft-quoted wisdom above.

Unity is power. A couple years ago now, I think, Elder David A Bednar spoke at a CES training session about the immense importance of unity and the destructive power of division and/or contention amongst us.  He shared some brilliantly insightful thoughts and illustrated these opposing ideas with aplomb. I loved increasing my understanding of this principle of life.

So in my marriage, where we are SERIOUSLY divided in ideology, how can we possibly be united?

Honestly, that’s what makes it so hard; it’s hard to know how to discuss things that previously were as easy as pie to talk about.  If I want to pray and go to the temple to seek out the Spirit to help with a large family decision, how on Earth can I take those desires to my husband who thinks I’m completely insane?  How do I take money that we SO DESPERATELY NEED and give it in relatively large quantities to the Church as I pay tithing?

But it works.

We are united.

We unite in our mutual respect for one another and our opposed belief systems.  He respects me, my beliefs, my upbringing, my desires for our family and children.  I respect his struggle to come to terms with his new views, his new understanding of life, the universe, and everything (42!), and I am SO grateful for his courage and honesty.

So yeah, I need to back off sometimes, and just let him be.  He lets me, and I let him.  It’s how we go.

I probably take it for granted that we’re going to raise our girls in the Church, but I am TRYING to do it with their being very aware and informed about their Daddy’s position, that no topic is taboo, that they are comfortable coming to EITHER of us with their questions as they strive to find out the truth for themselves.  I cannot FORCE my beliefs on them, nor can he his.  And as we have currently agreed to take the girls to church, together, it is more likely they’ll have that ‘background’ to lean on, which as I AM a believer, I am very grateful for, but they absolutely MUST know and understand their dad, his position, his feelings, and WHY.

Just pretending everything’s a-okay and ignoring HIM, well, in my humble opinion, that’s just a recipe for disaster!!

And so yeah, I gave him a day off.  Because he needs to know I’m not just paying lip service and that I do respect him.  Because we are united even in our disagreement.  That we are one in purpose of love and raising as happy and healthy a family as we can.  And that we work together to make each other happy.

End of story.

Don’t fight. Don’t argue.  Just don’t.  In or outside of the Church CONTENTION is one of the WORST things EVER.  If you hold to the scriptures you know that contention is the food of the devil, that he uses it to turn us against each other and ruin friendships, families, countries, lives.   If you don’t believe in scripture you can see the horrific things brought about in your life, on the news, in the world, as contention runs rampant.

Just, just don’t do it. Nothing is worth it.  YES the odd argument and/or fight is totally okay and HEALTHY even – please don’t misunderstand me. We OBVIOUSLY disagree!  But don’t let it run your life.  Don’t let it stand in the way of the things that will make you happy.

And THAT, my friends, is that for today.  Cheers!

Questions Answered

FINALLY, your questions!!

Here are some of our faves:

“Is his family LDS? What was his family’s response?”

YES, his family is LDS.  Fun story: his dad was an apostate Jack Mormon Utah boy who emigrated to the REAL Promised Land (cue: ‘O Canada’ here) after some time in the military and working for NASA and something about blowing up a phone booth with explosives for kicks and giggles. He eventually married my MIL, they had babies, and as happens, he ended up back in the LDS church, and brought his family, including my then-8-month-old-now-hubs with him.  He passed years ago, but my hubs mother and sisters remain strong LDS members.

What was their response?  Mom was devastated.  One sister was shocked, I think, but accepting and more or less okay with it in a what-a-stupid-moron kind of way (but way nicer; I’m the only one without the brain-to-mouth [or keyboard] filter). The other sister was hurt and furious. At the time, her reaction was my favourite! O:-) Hey, by now you KNOW I’m FAR from perfect!

Next question!

“Also, In that 5 myths and 5 truths video from John Dehlin, he thinks the GA’s should say something about marriages (and families – kids leave too) like yours at the next GC. Would you agree?”

I have to admit, it’s been almost a year since we sat together and watched that video, so I don’t remember specifically the reference you’re making as to his suggestion for the General Authorities.  Part of me thinks they DO talk about it regularly? I don’t know; watching the latest Relief Society broadcast at the end of September Pres. Monson spoke to THOSE women, without priesthood in the home. I remember it clearly because I felt like I sank about ten feet through my chair sitting there….it was the first time any of them had said that line and it actually applied to ME.

If the suggested mention about marriages and families like mine is to perhaps encourage that dogmatic differences need not result in the immediate termination of such relationships, then I am absolutely on board for that!  I think it would be safe to assume my mister would agree.  I think, honestly, if you look at what the Brethren teach about marriage, families, and the prevalence of divorce in society, and the arguably appropriate reasons for one to end a marriage, well, hopefully you’d understand my position on it as WE’RE STILL MARRIED.

Please don’t mistake me to say that divorce is inherently evil, all divorced persons are covenant-breaking scum or anything ridiculous along those lines. Just from my own experience and understanding THIS is not a situation which NEEDS such a drastic result. Does that make sense?  For the General Authorities to make that clear, that differences of opinion are work-withable, that marriage and family is SO incredibly important, and that differing religious views do NOT mean the end of the world, I cannot see that being a bad idea.

Next question!

“1 what’s the dumbest thing someone has said to you about….. [her]-Your belief, [him]-your unbelief, [her]-your decision to stay with an unbeliever.”

Oy, vey. That’s a doozy. If you haven’t watched the EIGHT MINUTE ridiculous chipmunk video we posted earlier…honestly, watch it.  The guy’s eyes are incredible – how do they move like that? And, honestly, people SAY those things! They really say them! They think them! We both know; WE’VE BEEN THOSE PEOPLE!! (We’re SO sorry!)

I think part of the problem is that we see people making choices that are different from ours, from what our normal is, what’s comfortable and safe for us, and so we have to rationalize so it makes sense.  My worldview and whole life says THIS is right, this is normal. You do something different. That doesn’t compute. Therefore…something is wrong with you.  It doesn’t make us bad people, it’s just something you learn to progress past, I think, with time and experience.  To use Church jargon, it’s that Natural Man about us.

The dumbest thing someone’s said? I don’t know. A non-member friend of mine started listing all the incredible pros of single-parenting; so glad it works when the alternative is a horrid, abusive marriage, buuuut my mister is an awesome dad, soooo….. yeah.   Dumbest thing to him? I don’t want him to answer that because I think it probably must have come out of MY mouth sometime in the last year!  O:-)  If it’s something good, or different than Mr Chipmunk, he’ll respond specifically.

NEXT:

“[her]- do you believe 100% in the truth of the church or do you believe that the church is a force for good and the best way you’ve encountered for someone to live their life”

This is a GREAT question. And a tough one in some regards.  Especially considering the source – I know you think I’m nuts for sticking with it!  hahaha 😛

I have spent a lot of time pondering that myself the past year. He has some excellent arguments basically, legitimately, calling into question the ‘warm fuzzies’ we Mormons get and have dubbed “The Spirit” as it testifies to us of the truth. Psychology of religion, don’t Muslims feel warm and fuzzy about THEIR “true” beliefs? Or Jews? Or Catholics? Or, goodness, yeah. Everyone? Explain THAT, he says. But, you know, with eloquence (he’s very well spoken. It’s frustrating when we disagree because I’m a bumbling idiot verbally hahaha).

Here is what I KNOW:

I KNOW that without absolute PROOF, i.e. ME actually having a tangible vision or something crazy like that, I can NEVER actually KNOW that “the Church is true.” I can’t.  It’s impossible. I can believe it, I can have faith in it, but I can’t know it.  But that IS faith, by definition in and outside of scripture, and as faith is the first principle of the Gospel, so far I’m good.

I KNOW what I HAVE experienced. I know that I have the warm fuzzies sometimes, and I know that so does everyone else. I know that I can within the doctrines of the Church try to rationalize and explain and whatever whatever – everyone has the Light of Christ even though only members have the Gift of the Holy Ghost kinda’ thing – or I can forget about rationalizing and ignore things that make me question.  OR, I can accept that there are some things that I don’t understand and move on.

I don’t mean to suggest that I purposefully turn a blind eye to the weird stuff. I think there is nothing more important than being educated extensively in whatever it is that you do, so why on Earth not in your religion, too? And education doesn’t mean brainwashed, one-sided, lollipops-and-roses only. It can’t. I just mean, that so far, when I come up on this stuff, I choose faith.

I KNOW what I have heard, what I have seen, what I have experienced. And while I don’t KNOW that “the Church is TRUE” per say, 100% every single teeny tiny bit of it, I do absolutely have faith that it is.  I believe that there are problems, there are mistakes, but as far as the pure, unadulterated doctrine of the Gospel of Christ goes, I have faith it’s true.

Sorry to disappoint 😉 hahaha

If you DO get the warm fuzzies about religion, don’t discount it just because someone else somewhere else is doing the same about their beliefs; the warm fuzzies help you recognize GOOD, and no matter what or where the good is coming from, good is good, and we need so much more of it in this world. EMBRACE good. Feed the Mormon missionaries when they come knocking. You don’t have to become a baptized member to be nice. Be kind to the JW’s that knock on your door and take the opportunity to learn about what makes them so passionate about sharing their message. Smile in the grocery store, leave big tips for your servers, and goodness gracious just do awesome stuff, will ya’? Stop all hating each other. It’s SO overrated.

How it all started

This is a big one, and I don’t know how far I’ll get with it tonight; this move and the subsequent CRAP that goes along with it is definitely taking its toll on me, especially as I’m now driving an hour to and from work in addition to hitting up the old house to keep getting it readier for sale…. Sigh. I’m EXHAUSTED.

But anyway.

How it all started kind of depends on which “it” we’re talking about.  But, here’s a stab at it:

A few years ago, when I was pregnant with our first, Little Miss, we visited Palmyra, New York with some friends. We had such a great time visiting during the off-season for tourists there – we had all the sites and tours to ourselves, and could actually get around the shops and bookstores without bashing into people at ever turn; it was a great trip!

While visiting the LDS-themed bookstore in downtown Palmyra (is there really anything else TO Palmyra other than downtown? I mean, really… a bustling metropolis it is NOT!) and picked up a few things. I remember him picking up a few books that looked so interesting, among which was one on Mormonism and magic (Early Mormonism and the Magic World View) and another on Mormons and the ever-so-hot topic of polygamy (Mormon Polygamy: A History). I thought nothing really of it except that I was excited to have the books in our library and eventually get around to reading them: I LOVE to read and I love to learn about history and what happened, why, when, by and with whom… people are and always have been FASCINATING.

Anyway. So he bought these cool books.

And then over the next years would read a little bit, and put them aside, then read a little bit…. he’s not a voracious reader like I am, so it often takes him forEVER to get through a book, if he gets through it at all.  As far as I know his purpose in purchasing these books or having an interest in the subjects had nothing to do with a desire to test or undo his faith, but you’d have to ask him and see if he remembers where his brain was at back then. WHO knows?

About two years ago he lost his job.  His DREAM job – the job he had his sights set on when he was tailoring his education at university, settled his family in a city for, and quite frankly, for the most part, really enjoyed doing.  He’s a computer programmer and was working on programming video games.  Yeah.  All nerdy boys’ dream, right?  And here he was more or less living it.  With some hiccups, for sure, but it was safe, secure, and decent.

And he lost the job.

Poor man came home just a wreck.  Totally blindsided.  There were a bunch of legal issues and crazy things going on and the funding for the company’s project just disappeared….everyone was laid off. It was BRUTAL. We were definitely not the only ones hit.

So then, he’s unemployed.

For a YEAR.

It seemed whatever he did for a year, just…nothing happened. Which was frustrating for ME, so I can’t imagine how incredibly disheartening it was for him; he’s VERY VERY good at what he does, and should be making great money at work that he LOVES to do, and here he can’t even get a job doing ANYTHING.  It was an awful year.

But at the end of the year I found out he’d not just been working on finding a job, but also been working to expand his knowledge base and understandings of some of the stickier bits of Church history.

An interest he’d piqued by actually sitting and reading the book he’d bought years earlier on polygamy.

It was sooooo unfortunate that his “journey” as he calls it, for a large part, happened in this year: we both suffer from depression and him being out of work was hard on BOTH of us. And then choosing to spend some of his ridiculously valuable time researching history instead of pounding the pavement…. that was a huge part of why I was so furious with him; I couldn’t believe his lack of priorities (or at least that his priorities at the time didn’t align with my, obviously, perfect ones 😉 – if hunting to understand and have truth isn’t a priority in life, yeah….  Anyway!)

By the time he hit me with the news he’d stopped believing the Church was really anything other than an organization that does some good stuff in the world (he’s very not ANTI-Mormon) he’d been working on his position for five or six months.  There was no back-and-forth, no chance for us to investigate and learn together.  I was so disappointed, AM disappointed: it’s a topic I am SO interested in, but being happy in my faith and kind of run-off-my-feet busy ALL the time since…I haven’t found the time. I WILL, but oy.

Anyway. There you have it! That was that.  While some people hide and/or struggle with addictions to substances, pornography, video gaming, gambling, shopping…goodness, any number of things, my husband hid from me his secretly debunking our entire world view!  hahaha

Don’t worry – we laugh and tease about it now.  More on those developments later. 🙂

You’ve been light on questions, lately – any new ones out there? Your questions give us things to talk about with each other and definitely things to write about!  hahaha Yes, our love of your questions is totally self-serving. Get over it. 😉 Ask away!

Home

So one day I was sitting in class in college, bored out of my skull (it was pathophysiology. Come on. Give me some slack) and surfing the internet landed me at the highly addicting site, Pinterest.

Sigh.

I LOVE Pinterest.

Anyway. Typically annoying Mormon female, here, I have a Pinterest problem.

Though my boards aren’t full of Releif-Society-crafts and varied-holiday-themed home decor (my Batman board is pretty epic, not going to lie!) they are pretty full.

Not too long ago I was surfing through and I found this. And it was just PERFECT. And I LOVE it.

Maybe even more now, because we’ve just spent the past three days this weekend moving to a new (old 🙂 ) place, after being in one city for our whole 10 years of marriage, the last 7 of which were in one house. But anyway.

I shared it with my hubs. It’s how he makes me feel.

We went to a friend’s wedding a few years ago and during part of the ceremony she said to her groom, through tears of emotion, something along these lines, that he made her feel like she was home. I’ve just always thought it such a beautiful sentiment.

And it’s EXACTLY how I feel about MY mister.

I didn’t date around a whole bunch when I was younger, but I’ve never with anyone else ever been just so…COMFORTABLE.  Another Pinterest gem I found one days says “home is where the pants aren’t” which makes me giggle, but the suggestion of emotional/psychological & physical contentedness is bang on.

With him I can be me. Unashamedly, one hundred percent, just me. Me on my good days, and bad days. My fat days, and my hot-mama days. My nagging, lazy, pyjama-pants and B.O. days, and my fancy-schmancy, productive, fashionista days.

With him I am home. No matter which me wakes up in the morning I am always free to be just that me.  I have it made in the shade. He makes me love being me, because he loves me so.

Love you, babe. Thanks for giving me a home, no matter where we are, who we’re with, or what we believe. Here’s to us, our girls, and our new home.

Thanksgiving Hiatus

Hiya, all! 

Sorry about the hiatus – Friday, as you know, was our anniversary, and then it was Thanksgiving weekend up here aaaand I had that one piece of writing set to post today, but I didn’t get to do the uh, “intro” about it beforehand…whoops… O:-)  

OH yeah, and we’re moving on the weekend. 

So, yeah. Lots going on, here.  

THAT said, we had a GREAT weekend. 

Which I will talk more about later. 

But one of the things that was SO FANTASTIC this past weekend was a super late, super fabulous conversation between my man and me, later joined by my brother. 

FASCINATING. 

Mr Man of Mine FINALLY, after nearly a year, FINALLY let it out, and just DUMPED on me about the Church. It was amazing. Fascinating. Incredible.  He doesn’t usually open up like that to me, and with this subject he’s been so sweetly concerned with possibly negatively affecting my testimony he’s been so hesitant to talk in depth about stuff with me.  

Anyway, sorry to be so vague; it’s late at night, I’ve got one eye on “Bones” (I love this show – the best is when Angela pops on screen with some stupidly impossible technology that twinkles and flashes and has nothing to do with her art skills and connects a bunch of impossible dots by enhancing un-enhanceable photographs or whatever…the whole thing is hilarious.) the other on the orange I can’t eat because my hands are currently glued to the keyboard aaaand my brain is flipping all over. 

Hopefully in between packing boxes this week we’ll finally have time to address some of your fantastic questions – some have asked about HIS views, why he left, etc., and I felt it would maybe be best to hear from him, but he’s ALSO in the middle of switching jobs, so that hasn’t happened yet, either. I’m one of those road-to-hell-paved-with-good-intentions types – and explain a bit more about US.  

In the meantime… ohmigosh, this episode is hilarious – Angela is looking at an image on a computer through “different colour filters” trying to read a serial number on a prosthetic, um, male part. baaahahahaha 

And on THAT note…check for us tomorrow. And if this week we just SUCK…we’re moving Saturday, so should hopefully be back to some sense of ‘normal’ routine sometime next week. 

Cheers, all! Thanks for checking in!