Think before you blurt!

Oh. My. Gosh.

Honestly? I think today’s might go down as my #1 most embarrassing moment ever.

The crowning moment, at least the most humiliating thing that I remember before tonight, was in grade 7, when I was being a moron on the field at recess and my stupid behaviour ended with me running full-body-full-tilt into an immovable soccer post…

That was over 20 years ago (wait, when did I get so old?!) and I can still feel the sting of the pole as it made contact ALL THE WAY up my left side, and left me with a fabulously un-sexy injured toe….

Sigh.

Tonight, though. Wow. I could FEEL the blood rushing to and from my face. And then back to every time my mind wandered back to my humiliation…

You know that thing you have where your brain has a thought and then it comes out of your mouth but before it comes out you like, you get a moment? To evaluate whether the thing you thought is a thing that needs to graduate from thought to speech?

Yeah. I don’t have that thing. Like, at all. No. Thing. My thing is broken. O_o

So I’m at choir tonight (yes, I’m a geeky choir kid – get over it. I’M REALLY GOOD AT IT) and we’re working on Christmas stuff, because it’s almost Hallowe’en, so you KNOW we’ve been singing this stuff for about two months already.  And one of the songs we’re working on is a lovely rendition of “While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks” arranged by Sally DeFord. Which is a little different from the run-of-the-mill hymnal editions we’re used to…anyway, it’s a great piece. Check it out if you’re so inclined.

The POINT is the lyrics.

Second verse:

To you in David’s town this day
Is born of David’s line
A Savior who is Christ the Lord,
And this shall be the sign
The heavenly Babe you there shall find,
To human view displayed
All meanly wrapped in swathing bands
And in a manger laid.

Please note the LAST word of the verse, yes? Okay.

So, we’re singing along, sight-reading, and going about our merry way, when suddenly, the ENTIRE ALTO SECTION, of which I am a part, just….loses it. We got SO LOST. We’re singing along, harmonizing, making pretty sounds with our vocal chords and fellow choir-geeks, and POW! We’re suddenly lost, mumbling….something…..definitely not singing anymore…maybe grunting a little?

Imagine, if you will….

To you in David’s town this day
Is born of David’s line
A Savior who is Christ the Lord,
And this shall be the sign
blaahh what? duuuh dum daaaaa shoot I missed that note dooo _______silence_________ dooooo hummm humm nope, still off…. oh, hang on, I know this note…. 
 LAID!! 

Because….EVERYONE got the last note! hahaha We missed the WHOLE second half of the verse, but hot dang we GOT the last note!!

You know when the music stops, how everything is quiet for a second?

Not if I’m in the room.

No, when I’m in the room and the music stops….the mouth just keeps ON going!!

And it spouts out little gems like this one:

“I GOT LAID!!” 

…………………………………………………

“ohmigosh! I mean, I got the last note! On the word laid! I sang the right note…. the last note…. I didn’t…I… ”

PEALS of laughter. Half of the choir was as red as I was (not really something these folks are accustomed to hearing SHOUTED in the chapel!) And then when everyone finally DID get enough control over themselves to keep rehearsing I couldn’t sing because I was still nervous-giggling with the intense humiliation of having been so fantastically obtuse as to let such a thing come racing out of my giant gaping maw…. Oh, man!

It was bad.

Just….just don’t let yourself blurt out…things…in a room full of Mormons…in the chapel… just don’t do it… I would think that generally, not BLURTING wold be a good rule of thumb to follow, actually.  If your thing is as broken as mine is, fix it, because everyone needs a brain-to-mouth thing that’s fully operational!!

Because…that was…horrific.

True story. (from http://cdn.ymaservices.com/editorial_service/media/images/000/081/188/preview/ezgif.com-optimize-59.png?1422381082 )

At least it gave the hubs a good chuckle when I came home – had to fill him in before he saw it popping up on Facebook as threatened by all in attendance seize the opportunity to make him smile – There’s always that, right?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s