Happy Thanksgiving

Don’t worry! Not falling back into hiatus, it’s just been a busy week! 11th anniversary (can you believe we made it another year? hahaha Sometimes we can’t either!) and Thanksgiving weekend…plus we both work, those kids…a horrid day and the WORST back pain I have ever experienced… I haven’t gotten to the computer too much.

And about that back pain? OUCH!

So THIS is it for today, and I’m stealing from the one and only Oprah, because even if she’s Oprah, I LOVE this:

images-4TRUE STORY.

Happy Thanksgiving, kids! Hope yours was fabulous. X-)



All About ME

The other day I came into a social setting with myself and a couple other people who don’t know me very well, but know a little bit about my, uh, ‘situation’ (thanks, honey!), who sat across from me and said something along the lines of

“tell us about YOU.”


What do you want to know??

I HATE that. Don’t you hate that? I don’t hate that they ‘asked’ (it’s not really a question, is it? More like an order; tell me NOW; tell me ALL YOUR SECRETS!!!) I just….hate the query.  I guess it’s just, so…. VAGUE.

Honestly, what would you like to know?

I’m loud. I’m overbearing and obnoxious. It doesn’t take too long for people to discern that, usually, though it takes some of them quite some time to figure out that the horribly blunt/crass/should-be-filtered-but-aren’t things that come spewing forth from my mouth aren’t usually meant to be negative. Honestly, there are probably a whole SLEW of people out there who just think I’m TERRIBLE because I regularly call my husband an idiot. Which HE knows means I love him. But yeah, I can take up a lot of space in a room, and not always physically. 😉

And sometimes people ask you to tell them about yourselves because they’re looking for your deep dark secrets, and others it’s because they want to know about your adoration for sunsets on sandy beaches with loooooooong walks hand-in-hand with your sweetheart. Or that, you know, you’re engaging in such (horrifically boring and cliche) activity in SEARCH of your sweetheart… (back off, girls – this one’s mine!!)

Sigh. And I never know WHICH set of ME information a person is looking for.

Do you want to know about my depression and how horrible and debilitating a disease it can be and my thoughts about the (incredible moronic) people who claim that it’s solely caused by choice and a lack of faith in [Christ] (here’s looking at you, Matt Walsh, you ignoramus)?


Do you want to know about my passion for Muay Thai kickboxing and how wickedly I can snap around a rear-roundhouse kick, or how I have trouble keeping my fists up before throwing a lead hook? And my dream to one day have Kru (basically black belt) in front of my name?

Do you want to know about my passion for reading and endless devotion to fantastical children’s fantasy such as none other than my BFF J.K. creates? Or our family’s one agreed upon ‘religion,’ Batman? Or our little band of Whovians and our trip to FanExpo in Toronto to meet Matt Smith and Arthur Darvill? (Best. Day. EVER.)

10615323_10154585632800523_8321023533099716766_nMaybe you want to know that when I was a kid I danced. And I was good. And I LOVED it. But I was stupid and I quit when I graduated elementary school to go into high school because I was convinced that high school was going to be hard and I wouldn’t have time to dance anymore.  So now…I can keep rhythm, but I dance like any overweight mother-of-two, with the white-man overbite and the ever-so-classic grocery cart move.

Do you want to know how much I hate sleeping with my feet covered? I love onesie pyjamas but they can’t be footies. Or I bet you’d be fascinated to know that I’m REALLY good at my job, which is basically touching naked people all day and making them feel good. O_o (I’m a massage therapist, you FILTHY people. My GOSH.)

Hey! I know! I have a bum left shoulder, but no one can figure out why. Maybe my depression leaped from my brain into my shoulder just to screw with me.

I know! I have a hard time with new, and a SERIOUSLY hard time with follow-through. I have  been in about a thousand different MLM companies. I’m too lazy to make anything work, though. (Pretty hopeful about this latest one, though – it’s a HOOT!) But in the meantime I’ll work my ‘real’ job and make money that way. Because I am an evil working mother who doesn’t love her kids enough to stay home with them.


I love sports. I love playing sports. Watching them makes me antsy because I hate sitting on my butt watching other people have fun. Yes, I find physical exertion to exhaustion fun. My dad thinks I’m psychotic. (My psychiatrist, too! hahaha If you’re crazy and you know it shake your meds!)

What do you tell people when they ask about you? Seriously, I want to know! I NEVER know what to say, or where to start, or what people REALLY want to know about me.  When you say to someone “tell me about yourself,” WHAT are you expecting to hear??

Am I Angry?

I was recently asked if I’m angry about my mister’s apostasy.

I don’t think it’s any surprise to you, dear readers, that I sure as heck WAS. VERY angry. My gosh. I was FURIOUS. How DARE he!?!? My perfect, picket-fence, Mormon dreams were completely DASHED because he had the audacity to RUIN MY LIFE!!!

(Remember this? Sigh. I do. All too well!)

But I’m not, now.  Really.

I tease and call him my moron, or that idiot or other degrading nasty names, but I’m a jerk in real life to everyone soooo…. it would almost be WRONG for me to ALWAYS be nice! 😉 And I know full well that he thinks I’m a brainwashed automatron, so…we’re good!

I don’t mean to sound flippant or crass, but I’m really not angry anymore.

Yes, of course, I wish things were different. I think anyone with huge differences in marriage wishes they weren’t so.  Especially unplanned for ones? I don’t know if it’s worse when you didn’t know about the divergence until later on in the marriage, as opposed to knowing ahead of time and barrelling on anyway?

But things aren’t different. So, what use is it for me to sit here and be a grump and be pissy and angry and treat him like garbage? Fun fact, I actually LOVE this man. I love him. Sometimes I forget WHY I love him 😉 but he’s delightful, and SUCH A GOOD MAN.  And we’re married, and to me? To him? That means something. EVERYthing.

We just don’t have the same religious beliefs anymore.

So what?

So get over it.

Up until recently he’s been so good as to even accompany us to church every. single. week.  True story. My apostate has a better attendance record since his apostasy than most ‘active’ members do! And why? Why would he do that?! BECAUSE HE’S NOT A BAD MAN! And even disbelieving its doctrine or whatever his beef is 😉 the church building itself isn’t going to cause him any harm. So he comes to help me juggle our two angels while I’m off teaching primary (and brainwashing the next generation muuahahahaha!)

But our baby isn’t a baby anymore, and is in Nursery now.


I figure here are my options. I can MAKE him keep coming with us (not actually, physically make him, you know what I mean. “I am wife, hear me roar” kind of make) and have him resenting me, my faith, my traditions, and everything and anyone associated with those things, OR…

Dude, stay home. NAP. Enjoy some time to yourself while I take the kids. Make us lunch for when we get home, and then we’ll leave a lovely Sunday afternoon together (read: he gets the kids while I take a turn napping!)

His first Sunday staying home our 7-year-old says to me in the car on the way to church “It’s sure nice of Daddy to stay home from church to make us lunch!” hahaha I love that! I love her so much.  And she is just pleased as punch that her daddy is at home on Sundays looking after things while we go off to worship services.

So no, I’m really not angry. Not anymore. I have more important things to do with my energy than choose such a destructive attitude. Ain’t nobody got time for that! 🙂

And now I have to go fix my bed head before I head off to work because…. gross. Until next time!

Where have we been?!

Holy crap.

I can’t believe it’s been since that disastrous holiday season since we’ve posted anything. How awful of us!

LIFE, eh?!

If I’ve learned anything in the last couple of years since my mister’s “coming out” it’s that life NEVER goes the way I plan or expect it! Newsflash, eh?

We’re doing great. We’re still married, in case you’re wondering, and though we have a long way to go (it’s really hard to pick up the phone and call a therapist! hahaha We’ll GET there!!) we’re doing really really well.

Our kids are fabulous – they are the light of our lives. And the torture – my gosh. I don’t remember being this tired when either of them were newborns, but whatever. They smile and the world disappears and all is perfection if but for a moment. I LOVE being their momma.

I have some things to say, and we’ll get to that, eventually. For now I just wanted to check in and remind myself that you’re still here, that I’m still here, and get the ball rolling again. We’ve learned so much, and I find things stay with me better when I put them out there. I study better out loud, and I express better in writing; if you think I sound like a babbling moron ONLINE you should meet me in real life! hahaha OY VEY!

Thanks, everyone, for all your love and support. And even the hate – it’s helped put us both in our places and keep the doors of communication between us open. Haters gonna’ hate, right? What can you do?

That’s all for now, but stay tuned and we’ll be back…. SOON.