FINALLY, your questions!!
Here are some of our faves:
“Is his family LDS? What was his family’s response?”
YES, his family is LDS. Fun story: his dad was an apostate Jack Mormon Utah boy who emigrated to the REAL Promised Land (cue: ‘O Canada’ here) after some time in the military and working for NASA and something about blowing up a phone booth with explosives for kicks and giggles. He eventually married my MIL, they had babies, and as happens, he ended up back in the LDS church, and brought his family, including my then-8-month-old-now-hubs with him. He passed years ago, but my hubs mother and sisters remain strong LDS members.
What was their response? Mom was devastated. One sister was shocked, I think, but accepting and more or less okay with it in a what-a-stupid-moron kind of way (but way nicer; I’m the only one without the brain-to-mouth [or keyboard] filter). The other sister was hurt and furious. At the time, her reaction was my favourite! O:-) Hey, by now you KNOW I’m FAR from perfect!
“Also, In that 5 myths and 5 truths video from John Dehlin, he thinks the GA’s should say something about marriages (and families – kids leave too) like yours at the next GC. Would you agree?”
I have to admit, it’s been almost a year since we sat together and watched that video, so I don’t remember specifically the reference you’re making as to his suggestion for the General Authorities. Part of me thinks they DO talk about it regularly? I don’t know; watching the latest Relief Society broadcast at the end of September Pres. Monson spoke to THOSE women, without priesthood in the home. I remember it clearly because I felt like I sank about ten feet through my chair sitting there….it was the first time any of them had said that line and it actually applied to ME.
If the suggested mention about marriages and families like mine is to perhaps encourage that dogmatic differences need not result in the immediate termination of such relationships, then I am absolutely on board for that! I think it would be safe to assume my mister would agree. I think, honestly, if you look at what the Brethren teach about marriage, families, and the prevalence of divorce in society, and the arguably appropriate reasons for one to end a marriage, well, hopefully you’d understand my position on it as WE’RE STILL MARRIED.
Please don’t mistake me to say that divorce is inherently evil, all divorced persons are covenant-breaking scum or anything ridiculous along those lines. Just from my own experience and understanding THIS is not a situation which NEEDS such a drastic result. Does that make sense? For the General Authorities to make that clear, that differences of opinion are work-withable, that marriage and family is SO incredibly important, and that differing religious views do NOT mean the end of the world, I cannot see that being a bad idea.
“1 what’s the dumbest thing someone has said to you about….. [her]-Your belief, [him]-your unbelief, [her]-your decision to stay with an unbeliever.”
Oy, vey. That’s a doozy. If you haven’t watched the EIGHT MINUTE ridiculous chipmunk video we posted earlier…honestly, watch it. The guy’s eyes are incredible – how do they move like that? And, honestly, people SAY those things! They really say them! They think them! We both know; WE’VE BEEN THOSE PEOPLE!! (We’re SO sorry!)
I think part of the problem is that we see people making choices that are different from ours, from what our normal is, what’s comfortable and safe for us, and so we have to rationalize so it makes sense. My worldview and whole life says THIS is right, this is normal. You do something different. That doesn’t compute. Therefore…something is wrong with you. It doesn’t make us bad people, it’s just something you learn to progress past, I think, with time and experience. To use Church jargon, it’s that Natural Man about us.
The dumbest thing someone’s said? I don’t know. A non-member friend of mine started listing all the incredible pros of single-parenting; so glad it works when the alternative is a horrid, abusive marriage, buuuut my mister is an awesome dad, soooo….. yeah. Dumbest thing to him? I don’t want him to answer that because I think it probably must have come out of MY mouth sometime in the last year! O:-) If it’s something good, or different than Mr Chipmunk, he’ll respond specifically.
“[her]- do you believe 100% in the truth of the church or do you believe that the church is a force for good and the best way you’ve encountered for someone to live their life”
This is a GREAT question. And a tough one in some regards. Especially considering the source – I know you think I’m nuts for sticking with it! hahaha 😛
I have spent a lot of time pondering that myself the past year. He has some excellent arguments basically, legitimately, calling into question the ‘warm fuzzies’ we Mormons get and have dubbed “The Spirit” as it testifies to us of the truth. Psychology of religion, don’t Muslims feel warm and fuzzy about THEIR “true” beliefs? Or Jews? Or Catholics? Or, goodness, yeah. Everyone? Explain THAT, he says. But, you know, with eloquence (he’s very well spoken. It’s frustrating when we disagree because I’m a bumbling idiot verbally hahaha).
Here is what I KNOW:
I KNOW that without absolute PROOF, i.e. ME actually having a tangible vision or something crazy like that, I can NEVER actually KNOW that “the Church is true.” I can’t. It’s impossible. I can believe it, I can have faith in it, but I can’t know it. But that IS faith, by definition in and outside of scripture, and as faith is the first principle of the Gospel, so far I’m good.
I KNOW what I HAVE experienced. I know that I have the warm fuzzies sometimes, and I know that so does everyone else. I know that I can within the doctrines of the Church try to rationalize and explain and whatever whatever – everyone has the Light of Christ even though only members have the Gift of the Holy Ghost kinda’ thing – or I can forget about rationalizing and ignore things that make me question. OR, I can accept that there are some things that I don’t understand and move on.
I don’t mean to suggest that I purposefully turn a blind eye to the weird stuff. I think there is nothing more important than being educated extensively in whatever it is that you do, so why on Earth not in your religion, too? And education doesn’t mean brainwashed, one-sided, lollipops-and-roses only. It can’t. I just mean, that so far, when I come up on this stuff, I choose faith.
I KNOW what I have heard, what I have seen, what I have experienced. And while I don’t KNOW that “the Church is TRUE” per say, 100% every single teeny tiny bit of it, I do absolutely have faith that it is. I believe that there are problems, there are mistakes, but as far as the pure, unadulterated doctrine of the Gospel of Christ goes, I have faith it’s true.
Sorry to disappoint 😉 hahaha
If you DO get the warm fuzzies about religion, don’t discount it just because someone else somewhere else is doing the same about their beliefs; the warm fuzzies help you recognize GOOD, and no matter what or where the good is coming from, good is good, and we need so much more of it in this world. EMBRACE good. Feed the Mormon missionaries when they come knocking. You don’t have to become a baptized member to be nice. Be kind to the JW’s that knock on your door and take the opportunity to learn about what makes them so passionate about sharing their message. Smile in the grocery store, leave big tips for your servers, and goodness gracious just do awesome stuff, will ya’? Stop all hating each other. It’s SO overrated.